25 Thoughts Until 25 [Reflections on My Life Until]

Thought #10


They say everyone goes through a “quarter life crisis” somewhere between their late teens and into their early 30s. I would say that I went through one between May 2011 and June 2012. 

The first few months out of Howard, I didn’t have a job. On top of that, I did not enjoy my summer. I know it was a dark period because I can’t remember doing much but sleeping all day. I found it hard to get up and do anything. 

All of my friends were still in D.C. and so I didn’t go out much. Meanwhile I had to deal with the annoying questions, “why don’t you do this and this to get a job.” I applied for jobs, had some interviews, but still no employment. 

I felt misunderstood and many times just lost and left behind. Not to mention, I lost some close family members and a very close friend of mine within that same time period. It was ALOT going on. 

By the end of the summer I decided I was going to have to do what I didn’t want to do — take another internship — my seventh one at that! I humbled myself and stepped out on faith and started with what I had. I began reaching out to editors that I had once worked with or met while in college…

To be continued…

25 Thoughts Until 25 [Reflections on My Life Until] Thought #9

Originally published April 17

Thought #9

"Men occupy 80 to 95-plus percent of the top decision-making positions in American politics, business, the military, religion, media, culture, and entertainment." (http://www.missrepresentation.org/about-us/resources/leadership/)

I’ve always had this theory that if leadership was more balanced between gender the world would be a more balanced (less chaotic) place. Not to take away from male leadership, but I think society has missed out on so much progression by leaving female energy out of the mix. That’s changing as we speak though 

25 Thoughts Until 25 [Reflections on My Life Until] Thought #8

Originally published April 16

Thought #8

Wine bars, brunchy restaurants and cafes won’t help people in a community who are trying to hold on to what they have. Yes, it makes the neighborhood “appear” nicer. But does it make it “better?” Absolutely not. When ppl have jobs, can feed their families, mental and physical health and financial literacy is restored in our communities then and only then can things turn around. Lastly we all know what the hood looked like 15 years ago. Suddenly, things get “more diverse,” and my oh my how fast has “change” come. Ain’t fooling me.

25 Thoughts Until 25 [Reflections on My Life Until] Thought #7

Originally published April 15

Thought #7

I’m pregnant with so many ideas this morning…hope I didn’t give anyone a heart attack. haha. Just mothering these little seeds God placed in my heart. My problem as a young person is that I want to do all my ideas at the same time. I’ve always been a calm person on my exterior, but I feel like I have ADD in my mind. Like today, I want to finish some feature articles, then start my next sewing assignment, then I want to update my blog(s). I probably will only get one or two of those things done properly today to be realistic. So I’ve been asking God to help me get better at focusing on one thing at a time. If I spread myself too thin, then I’ll get nothing done at all.

25 Thoughts Until 25 [Reflections on My Life Until] Thought #6

Originally published April 14

Thought #6

Growing up I would always hear the saying, “believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.” I looked up who said it and it is attributed to Benjamin Franklin.

I believe in the quote. But I think that if he was around today in the age of technology with social media and other visual media he would change that quote to “believe none of what you see and none of what you hear.” It’s just different these days.

25 Thoughts Until 25 [Reflections on My Life Until] Thought #5

Originally Published April 13

Thought #5

"I like your hair. Natural," a security guard says to me earlier this afternoon as I was walking out of BJs with my mother and sister. I turned and smiled and said, "thank you." 

As we continued walking to the elevator, I hear the man make an additional comment. He said something to the effect of, “Now if I see you tomorrow with a weave…” Woah. Pause here.

No women - at least not this women or other women I know personally - wants to hear a compliment followed by your opinion of black women’s hair and how they should wear it or not wear it. You just killed it. And that tells me everything I need to know about you as a person: that you don’t let people live. 

I personally don’t care what other women do with their hair so why as a man do you care so much about these womanly affairs. 

Secondly, if you see me tomorrow with a weave, that’s my decision and business and my money. Best believe the weave will be flawless as I take pride in my crown whatever state it may be.

Lastly, I’m sure ole man had other things he needed to tend to personally so again take that passion and apply it to self. So to the men who walk around with this mentality, there are a whole list of things I don’t get about men and I wish they wouldn’t do, but you know what…some things are petty and really are meaningless to bicker about when it comes to the culture differences between genders.

What matters most about a person is not their hair, etc, but more so what is in their heart. Focus on character not outward appearances.

25 Thoughts Until 25 [Reflections on My Life Until] Thought #4

Originally Published on April 12

Thought #4

No deep statuses today. But today is example of why spring has always been my favorite time of the year. I’m just happy the warm weather is back in New York. I can finally put my homebody ways to an end.

25 Thoughts Until 25 [Reflections on My Life Until] Thought #3 

Originally Published April 11

Thought #3 

Some paraphrased notes I took on commitment from a book called “Beyond Positive Thinking.” Ever since I read it, alightbulb went off and it is something I think about everyday:

"Sometimes we mistakenly think that freedom means avoiding commitment. We fear that if we commit that thing will own & control us.

But TRUE freedom lies in making choices and commitments.

At some point you have to make a decision. Not choosing to so something is still a choice in itself — that comes with its own set of outcomes.

If you don’t decide, someone else will decide for you. If we never make a mistake and never take risks we will always be a child. 

It is safer to take our cue from others because making a decision is revealing who you are.”

And if it’s one thing I don’t like, it’s having someone else choose my life for me. Society has one story for black women, but I will choose my own.

25 Thoughts Until 25 [Reflections on My Life Until] Thought #2

Originally Published April 10

Thought #2

In honor of #NationalSiblingDay

To my biggest sis Lakesha, you have always been a role model to me. You are a shining example of what it means to be a well-rounded balanced woman and I’m blessed to have you. You always call me wise, but it’s only because I had sister like you to look up to. And to Danny, I always cherish our positive conversations about life and the politics of the world and am grateful to have another brother, especially one I can look up to.

To my sister Tiffany. There is never a time you don’t have a joke or two when I see you. You were there when mommy and daddy were busy. Dropping me at the bus stop, babysitting, taking me to the hair salon, etc. You are like my second mama. Now that I’m a little older, I appreciate having you near. When you get married and have kids, I might be jealous, cause that means less time but I’ll manage.

To my brother Jeffrey. I remember the days we used to play outside and we had the same friends. It seemed like yesterday and now we’re all grown up trying to figure out life. Believe it or not, you were pretty much my first best friend. Let’s stay close as we get older. I’m proud of your growth. I’m always going to call you my little bro, even though we’re a year apart. That is what God intended, so deal. 

To my little sister Imani. As the baby, you are the center of our family. I remember 
when I first saw you and I couldn’t stop smiling. Now you’re turning 18. I don’t want to believe it. Anyway because of you, I know like every Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift song. You’re keeping me young lol But I am also proud of your growth and as your big sis, will always be there for you no matter what. 

25 Thoughts Until 25 [Reflections on My Life Until] Thought #1

I’m doing a “25 thoughts till 25” countdown on my Facebook and decided to share it on tumblr as well. I started April 9 so I’m almost half way there. My birthday is May 4.

#Thought 1

If I was created by God why shortchange myself? Why settle for good when great is still obtainable? 

Sometimes I think about the times that I settled in life for less. But instead of regretting it, I’m grateful that my relationship with Jesus Christ helped me to see what my human eyes couldn’t. 

I’m grateful that God brought me the wisdom to change when I didn’t fully get why I needed to and the strength to go against my feelings when they told me to do otherwise. All I ever needed was faith. 

Although my physical eyes now need glasses (just found out the other day) God continues to give my spirit new vision that doesn’t deplete. I’m super grateful for dat!